They met on Match.com, something I have MANY varied opinions on.
I'm not a fan of meeting through dating sites. I am far more supportive of meeting someone in day-to-day life, although that may be just be because of the naive romantic view of life that has polluted the minds of youthful people such as myself.
First of all, everyone on online dating sites is looking for a long-term relationship, which many people consider to be a good thing...I'm not one of those people.
I see nothing wrong with wanting a long-term relationship, but I believe that should not be the first thing you have in mind when on a first date. It should be something that develops without effort.
It's even more dangerous when both people feel this way. Suddenly, two people who are yearning for a relationship are together.
In most cases, they will probably be careful about what they say. For example, they will not voice any strong opinions of their's in fear of offending the other. They'll keep it very safe.
As long as a couple of jokes are made and both parties appear decent and normal, a second date will be set in all probability, as these are two people looking for love and not willing to let an opportunity slip by.
Obviously, all throughout the dating process, the two individuals will be attempting to impress the other. From there, it is very easy to become "close" to the other person just because of the lack of any obvious flaws, rather than actual personality.
I believe that when two people who have an extreme desire for love and are not particularly abnormal are put together, it is extremely easy for them to "fall in love."
Also, I think it's important, though not necessary, to know someone before the dating begins, so that you are exposed to more than just their trying-to-impress personality.
I obviously don't think this is everyone's experience with dating sites, I just feel like something along the lines of this happened to the great majority who have claimed to found "success" with online dating.
I recently spoke to my parents on the subject, and they have a rather different view.
They reminded me that most people opt for the bar when trying to date, which is far more dangerous and more likely to result in a dead-end relationship, if it even goes past a one-night stand.
They also stressed that most prominent dating websites do background checks, so there's little risk of dating a pedophile, criminal, etc.
According to them, there was nothing wrong with wanting a long-term relationship right from the start. To quote my dad, "dating is not a recreational activity," which is something I decided was better to not comment on.
Though I don't exactly agree with them, their reactions made me think.
Maybe I am just naive and tend to romanticize the world, although I don't believe I do...but then who does?
Any opinions at all would be greatly appreciated. You can even cuss me out if you want. I need to hear more thoughts on the matter before I have a fully formed opinion.
Thanks for reading my ramble!
One thing I like about you already (actually, there are a few more than one!), is your comment, "their reactions made me think." Oh, I just love it when people begin thinking for themselves; I wish I had learned much earlier, but I am making up for lost time now! Looking forward to chatting with you more!
ReplyDeleteHey Dolly ... it's me again! Was going to write to you with some thoughts, but decided to put it in a blog ... so today's blog is a letter to you, my friend! I hope you'll give me some feedback ... whether critical or encouraging or questioning, it doesn't matter!
ReplyDeleteHey Dolly, put your faith in your prayers to our Blessed Virgin Mother Mary to help you find a husband.
ReplyDeleteIn the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit... Amen
Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of they womb Jesus. Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen...
Blessed Virgin Mary help me find a husband who will love and respect me.
In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit... Amen.
Wanted you to know I wrote another letter to you as my blog today! I'm so enjoying dialoging with you; so refreshing being able to talk to a younger person who freely shares her thoughts vs. older people (like my age) being so set in their beliefs they won't budge!
ReplyDelete